IS THIS THE WAY TO TAMARILLO ?

[Chantal]

Ho ho ho

Is that the best you can manage Piglet? (not bad actually) Where have you been during the latter half of this?

[Zena]

What do you a call a man with no arms,no legs but who still manages to swim the Channel?
Clever Dick
Sorry - probably not the best way to introduce myself on my first posting!

[paul.r]

Zena I reckon you'll fit right in...best wishes paul.

[Chantal]

Hi Zena, brilliant introduction; welcome to the asylum.

[pigletwillie]

What do you call an Indian who lives in a matchbox

Ram Din

[Chantal]

Piglet that's awful, and so early in the morning too.

Ever thought we should have an emoticon for "groan"?

[paul.r]

the guru
my hat my coat.

[Sue]

What do you call a vampire who lives in your kitchen?
Spatula

What do you call a ship that lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A quivering wreck

What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder

Sue

[peter]

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no skin.
Still no bloody idea.

What do you call a man covered in compost?

Peat.

[richard p]

and from the primary school
are two thieves a pair of nickers

[Zena]

Thanks folks. I've been reading the site for a while but hadn't plucked up courage to post!
But now I have, prepare for lots of questions!

In the meantime:
Q: What do you call a man who stands between two houses?
A: Ali

Q: What do you call a man between two houses on the second storey?
A: Alistair

[peter]

Q: What do you call a man who stands between two houses dressed as a sheep?
A: Ali Baba.

[Angi]

Ok. I'm joining in now.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig!

[Allan]

Now that you've had your jokes can we get back to the subject. I too have a packet of seeds.
An easy one to solve with a bit of Googling, here is a taster:-

Propagation: Seeds and cuttings may be used for propagation. Seeds product a high-branched, erect tree, while cuttings develop into a shorter, bushy plant with low-lying branches. The tree does not always come true from seed, but is most likely to if one is careful to take seed from red fruits with black seed pulp or yellow fruits with yellow seed pulp. Germination is accelerated by placing washed and dried seed in a freezer for 24 hours before planting out. Cuttings should be of 1 to 2 year-old wood 3/8 to l inch thick and 18 to 30 inches long. The leaves are removed and the base cut square below a node. Cuttings can be planted directly in the ground, but should not be permitted to fruit the first year.
Allan

[pigletwillie]

What do you call a woman with fruit on her head?

Flan