Barry Cryer's favourite rude joke from the The Oldie mag -

Because I'm getting on a bit, I've replaced sex with food.
It's working brilliantly.
I love food so much, I've put a mirror on the ceiling over the kitchen table.

John

And now for something completely different A well set-up family hire a marriage broker for their son. The marriage-broker goes away and comes back with a picture of a beautiful young woman. He tells the family, 'She's popular. She's beautiful. She's from a good family. She's perfect!' Then the son b...

Agree with you V.
I use Shipton Mill and their flour is some of the best around. Many less common types to choose from that are hard to find any where else.
Delivery is quick but then I don't live very far away from the mill. The website is excellent.

John

Hi Westi
As courgettes go Parthenon is the one against which others must be judged. Its so reliable - grows fast, fruits early and the fruits are excellent.
You've made a good choice!
Regards
John

Hi W It is in the nature of squash and courgettes to produce mainly male flowers when they first start flowering. Pollination is haphazard until the plant is established. With courgettes one way round the problem is to grow the variety Parthenon F1 as the female flowers will develop fruits without p...

Hi Westi
I grew Abbot earlies last year and agree with you about the taste. Won't be trying them again.

John

Hi Monika An excellent tonic for anaemic plants is dried blood - available in most garden centres. Its high in nitrogen, contains iron and is fast acting. Don't overdo any application on beans. If you do you will get a lot of soft lush growth and fewer flowers/beans. I've found that a little on youn...

If we are having a warm spell it is best to sow in the late evening when its cooler and then water with cold water.
John

Handles on supermarket trolleys must come a close second in the germ spreading stakes.

John

Hi Colin2016 Quite some time ago now Johnboy (is he still lurking here?) did an experiment involving planting groups of BB seeds in different positions and showed that the black scar down position gave the best germination results. He posted his results on forum but they may have been lost when old ...

Totally agree with you Monika. This is by far the best way to grow broad beans - use the deep (12cm) trainers. I've found the varieties Jubilee Hysor or Witkiem Manita do very well when sown mid Feb. onwards and given a bit of protection while germinating. Don't bother with the trainer lids. Remembe...

Hi Stephen You best bet is to contact Environmental Health at your local council and explain your concerns. This is not the same as the Environment Agency. Try to arrange a site visit with one of their officers. They will advise you on what sort of tests for contaminants need to be carried out and a...

Hello Stephen I think that the second plant is common hogweed but it is difficult to tell without seeing the leaves. This can grow to 1 to 2m high and looks like a coarser version of cow parsley. It is quite easy to confuse it with giant hogweed which is toxic - even touching this might cause a seve...

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially ...

Hi Snooky
That's a real classic!
John